feb 28

I have returned from my writing hiatus to speak once again about the absolute nonsense that ransacks through my brain.Yesterday was honestly one of the worst day I think I have ever experianced. Legitimately considered kicking the bucket yesterday as I saw that there was no point on continuing my life, but atlas I am still alive. The main reason why i have not bitten the dust already is the once in a life time possibility that God does exist and heaven is real I dont want to be sent to hell for pulling the trigger. I would like to see my mom after I die and I don't think she's burning in hell so I try to keep on going. Might have to talk to my doctor about upping my perscription becuase I don't think 50 mgs are doing it anymore or maybe my brain is finally immune to SSRIs. Despite the hole i find myself living in 75% of the day I am doing somewhat decent in a practical sense. No mirgranes or sore joints I count that as a plus. School is unenjoyable most days, but that's nothing new. Looking forward to spring break :)

song I have been listening to a lot recently: blue hair by TV girl

i like the guys voice and instrumentals. I also kind of relate to the song in some weird way.

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